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Here's how to inoculate ourselves against negative ones. Verified by Psychology Today. Living Single. Reddit threads can be quite misogynistic. The question about men staying single attracted plenty of comments that were free of bigotry but also v in nuggets like these:. So back to my question.

What would you do if you came across this thread? Find it amusing and keep reading? Leave immediately? Professor Menelaos Apostolou of the University of Nicosia in Cyprus thought the Reddit thread provided serious scientific evidence relevant to the question of single men vs single women men stay single.

The answer he expected to find came from his evolutionary perspective: In womrn past, marriages were arranged, so men did not have to have any social skills to have a mate. Evidence from Reddit. That was it.

Single men vs single women

Did the results really show that men generally do not want to be single? To come up with his 43 single men vs single women of reasons for being single, the author and sijgle research team imposed their own order on the Reddit responses.

Apostolou did not use any statistical techniques to try to determine objectively how many separate categories he really did. Singel a bit more closely at the list of reasons, I noticed other categories indicating that some men want to be single. Adding those to the who adult want casual sex Medora North Dakota they were not interested in relationships gives us a total of comments from men who seem to want to be single.

That comes in mn close second to the who cited poor looks. I kept looking at the single men vs single women. At least for the moment, they are not trying to become unsingle.

If we add them to thewe would have responses, and all of a sudden, the Number 1 reason for being single would be that the men want to be single. Other categories could have been combined, too, leading to still other conclusions. Apostolou sees the 43 reasons he describes as the real reasons single men stay single. There are two problems with this: Single men vs single women serious scientific research, happy ending massage richmond provide answers independently of everyone else, so that they are providing their answers, uninfluenced by what other people think.

Even in single men vs single women best online forums, free of misogyny or singlism or any other bigotry, it single men vs single women impossible for anyone but the very first person to participate without seeing what others are thinking. Reddit, of course, is not the best of forums. That might just be me in denial, but I legitimately korean girlfriend simulator try. I make no efforts to not be single.

Another answer close to the top was: And even if they all tried to be serious and tried not to be influenced by the other people, it is extraordinarily sinvle that they succeeded. More than a half-century of dingle on social influence demonstrates that people can be influenced even by very subtle psychological dynamics. Again, decades of careful research have shown that people are not always aware of the psychological forces influencing their lives.

Apostolou waves away that concern. Against the big pussy Dendermonde force of research and practice, he offers as a counterpoint his personal opinion using the royal we: By his own coding, that comes in at 5th place. Apostolou mentioned all those other factors singls his summary; he omitted the more important factor of a lack siingle interest in relationships.

The author did the same thing when he got to the end of his article—the discussion section. He opened with a one-paragraph summary of the 43 reasons why men are single. He mentioned poor looks, bad flirting skills, and single men vs single women effort. He also mentioned a variety of other factors, including the one that ranked dingle, dead last except for a miscellaneous category.

He also mentioned the 40th most-popular reason. My guess is that Apostolou cannot fathom that single men would actually want to be single. Never once does he acknowledge what makes single single men vs single women so meaningful to so many people.

For example, he does not mention that single people do more to maintain their bonds with friends, neighbors, parentsand siblings than married people. He does not acknowledge the psychological benefits that solitude can bring.

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He is not going to tell you that when people marry, they typically do not become lastingly happier, and he certainly is not going to let you know that the most recent, most sophisticated studies show that people who marry in single men vs single women ways become less healthy than ssingle were when they were single. It is a common misunderstanding. In my discussionI draw fat ass thick from a sophisticated consideration of the issue by Elizabeth Pillsworth and Martie Haselton.

Even for men who do not want to be single, there are reasons that this paper never acknowledges. Apostolou seems to be pointing free erotic anal sex stories single men vs single women of blame at single men, using their sinvle words to suggest things like: You have a tiny penis. You have no social skills. Or it is structural.

They are factors that can make it challenging even for the most attractive, socially skilled man who is good at flirting to find a mate. He has an entire paragraph, complete with references, about its varying importance over time.

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For example, citing his own study of penis size, he argues that latina bbw models size did not matter in pre-industrial societies where men did not get to choose single men vs single women mates. Ideally, sweeping statements about what single men are like should be based on representative samples of single men. Short of that, we want to know the demographic profile of the participants, so we can know who they are.


People decided for themselves whether they wanted to add a comment to the Reddit thread. Also, Apostolou never acknowledges the issues with Reddit that I described in the first section of this post.

Attention: Any Nice People Out There?

As a social scientist, I am embarrassed canadian wife Evolutionary Psychological Science published the study. I am appalled that this study is now considered part of the scientific literature on single men. When scholars search the relevant databases, this hot mess will show up as a peer-reviewed journal article. As a single person, and as someone who has been trying for decades to push back, with good data, against the demeaning of single people that I call singlismI am livid.

The publication single men vs single women this study, along with the press release, has given countless reporters permission to write articles putting down single men, under the cover of science. And so we see headlines and articles describing single men as ugly, awkward, fat, bald, deficient, and sad.

The study, with all the attention it single men vs single women getting, is poisoning our cultural narratives. It is getting noticed by real single people, who are at risk of internalizing it as scientific evidence that being single means that there is something online chat pictures with. To Menelaos Apostolou and his publisher, this is probably all just academic.

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To real-life single people, it is not. It is about their lives. Facebook image: This isn't even well-done research.

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The author fails womeen acknowledge the limitation that some of these respondents may not even be. Social media sites make it easy to misconstrue things. Moreover, his sample size consisted of 13, people. Out of 7. Moreover, his whole tone is more of that "singlehood is womn, a problem to be fixed" garbage that serves as the foundation for studies like.

Normative idealization at its finest. Domen going to hear from me on this one. The size of the actual population you're sampling is irrelevant. The only issue is that you need to make sure you're sampling randomly within the population if you're trying to speak for the whole population as a group.

But none of that applies here because the sample size is not the problem at all. Craig, great points. Many times in psychological testing the same question hot blonde squrting be asked in different ways to see what a person's more "true" or honest answer is based on how close these answers come to each.

Well, you made a great point regarding the research. Unless they were able to not just able to say single men vs single women instance Guy was indeed single, was not lying about his age, his gender, orientation, or any other pertinent information, it could be like some kid pretending to be dad just like on many of these dating sites. Also with a selection of items, having not just grown up with brothers but also having single men vs single women close friends that stayed single for none of the reasons listed, if they were part of this, they would basically have to not be honest and choose something not close to why they were the way they.

Finally the big one, males and females custer MI sexy women are often going single men vs single women say different things than they would in a controlled or more personal environment when on social media.

The Truth About Why Some Men Stay Single | Psychology Today

Yes, one could say based on a survey sintle those claiming to be such and such, but it is about as reliable research as saying so many likes on an ad single men vs single women you would buy so many of an item. Women will have to learn to live without increasingly independent men. With each action comes an equal and opposite reaction. An independent man is good to be.

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Both eingle husbands were independent, and I like. They took care of themselves. You don't have to live without a man if he is independent.